Etsy's Idea of Goth

Eons ago in 2013 I wrote a post about weird things I found in the "goth" search on Etsy, and while searching for craft supplies I discovered that, in fact, my post did not cause a revolution and make all shop owners simultaneously stop erroneously calling things Goth just to get page views. Shame, that. So, what did I find this time?

Ah yes, Back to the Future. Now, I've never seen this movie so maybe I'm missing out and it really is a Goth classic, but somehow I doubt it. Shirt here.



Batman letter blocks. Come on, y'all. Everyone knows Batman is an emo superhero, not a Goth one.



This shirt is labeled as Pastel Goth and, admittedly, I don't understand Pastel Goth at all but somehow it still offends me.



What the fuck.



"Sorry for what I said when I was horny." If I saw a person wearing this in public, I would run in the other direction as fast as my heels would take me. If they tried to speak to me, I would spontaneously combust.



If you can't read the mug, it says "If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing." Ugh. Admittedly I hate The Simpsons but I'm laughing at how adding the little upside down cross is supposed to make it Goth in any way. Why are we like this.








All I can imagine is someone's poor grandma who doesn't understand Goth doing a keysearch for Goth and buying them this Ring Pop ring. "This is Goth, right dear?" No, grandma.

When life gives you lemons, stop making them into hair accessories and tagging them as Goth on Etsy, please.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever found in the Goth tag on any website?