Saturday, November 19, 2016

Etsy's Idea of Goth

Eons ago in 2013 I wrote a post about weird things I found in the "goth" search on Etsy, and while searching for craft supplies I discovered that, in fact, my post did not cause a revolution and make all shop owners simultaneously stop erroneously calling things Goth just to get page views. Shame, that. So, what did I find this time?

Ah yes, Back to the Future. Now, I've never seen this movie so maybe I'm missing out and it really is a Goth classic, but somehow I doubt it. Shirt here.

Batman letter blocks. Come on, y'all. Everyone knows Batman is an emo superhero, not a Goth one.

This shirt is labeled as Pastel Goth and, admittedly, I don't understand Pastel Goth at all but somehow it still offends me.

What the fuck.

"Sorry for what I said when I was horny." If I saw a person wearing this in public, I would run in the other direction as fast as my heels would take me. If they tried to speak to me, I would spontaneously combust.

If you can't read the mug, it says "If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing." Ugh. Admittedly I hate The Simpsons but I'm laughing at how adding the little upside down cross is supposed to make it Goth in any way. Why are we like this.

All I can imagine is someone's poor grandma who doesn't understand Goth doing a keysearch for Goth and buying them this Ring Pop ring. "This is Goth, right dear?" No, grandma.

When life gives you lemons, stop making them into hair accessories and tagging them as Goth on Etsy, please.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever found in the Goth tag on any website?


  1. Replies
    1. You wrote a good post about weird things I found in the "goth" search on Etsy. I also like Etsy website because it has a unique handmade product, designer clothes, jewelry and beauty product. I also have been bought T-shirts on this site. I would like to share about this website to my team of resume writing experts at Artistic Resume Help. Hope they would also like it. Thanks for sharing.

  2. I've seen floral daisy duke shorts listed as Goth, something that was clearly fairy-kei/Lolita listed as pastel Goth (despite utterly lack of spooky and it being all kawaii), a purple fairy candle-holder with the word "love" on it (more new-age kitsch than Goth!) and plenty of things that are pretty much the INVERSE of Goth listed as 'Goth' on eBay

  3. Oh boy this is painful :/

  4. This is hilarious.

    Just found this "goth" gem on eBay btw,

  5. Bizarre!!! And that "pastel goth" sweater is just crap. ::rolls eyes:: I really don't think most people know what goth IS anymore. How depressing...

  6. Not sure if I should laugh at the obliviousness of the sellers, or cry because some people might actually think these are goth.

  7. A friend of mine and I literally have a game based on this phenomenon (for lack of a better word). We'll pick a qualifier--Civil War, pioneer, goth, grunge, Quaker, etc--and then run it through Etsy or Pinterest or eBay and see what we get. It started when I was looking for patterns for Civil War reenacting dresses and kept getting weird gathered-neckline peasant dresses and mob caps. The person whose search turned up the most nonsensical and off-the-mark result won the round.

  8. LOL Those are definitely cringe worthy. And the ones that are clearly shipped in from China (sorry but I'm saying it) make it even more annoying. Like, you didn't even try!!

  9. Now these are goth and on etsy :) or website -

  10. I found a pair of crotchless panties on that was labelled goth. Whaaaaat?

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