Saturday, June 18, 2016

Reader Mail: Becoming a Goth

Hi,I'AM A 17 yr old African American girl and I'am interested in being a
goth. I listen to goth music: Bauhaus, switchblade symphony,the
cure.etc,wear black clothes,read Gothic literature, look at dark art, and
watch old horror movies. but my mom thinks i only like goth for the
fashion,i'm not really a goth inside,and my room isn't very goth.What should
i do?

I personally am of the belief that if you like Goth things, which you do, and you want to be a Goth, which you seem to, then you are a Goth. It's not unusual to feel like you have to do something "more" (I get similar e-mails all the time) but that's really it.

As for your mother, what she's saying is plainly not true. You do like things about Goth that aren't fashion related, so just don't worry about it. She might be slightly confused about what Goth is, so if you really feel the need you can explain it to her, but personally I don't think you need to prove your gothness to her or to anyone else.

As for your room, it's pretty easy to redecorate your room in a goth way if that's what you're interested in.

A few years ago I posted a list of 100 DIYs for Goth dorms which would probably also work for your room. If you can't paint your room, I also have a post about disguising a non-goth wall color in your room.

 You might also want to check out Pinterest for some more inspiration: I have a bunch of boards dedicated to Gothic decor and you can have a poke around to see what you like and what you might want to do to your room.

Long-time readers will know that I take a more relaxed approach to being a Goth. Being a Goth shouldn't be difficult or something you have to try really hard to do, it should just be who you are. What do you all think about the process of "becoming a Goth"?


  1. Lol if anyone calls you a poser, just ignore it. Even if the person calling you a poser is your mom lol.

    1. I got called a mall goth by a 23 year old the other month. I'm 44 and have been a goth since I was 17, admittedly erring on the side of pretty frocks. I didn't know whether to take it as an inadvertent compliment or cry.

  2. Maybe she likes goth stuff but she likes other stuff as well and her mom thinks she isn't 100% goth or so, being goth doesn't mean that you can't like other stuff. Even before hitting puberty and changing my style and all, I was into Burton's movies and I was obsessed with The Monsters and Addams Family. I always had a tendency towards the strange and unusual even if by the time I had no idea about the Gothic Subculture. My mom thought it was a phase also, but here I am 30 yrs about to have my first baby and still wearing bats and coffins and making my baby listen to 45 grave and stuff. BY now she's use yo see me like that, even so I still hear the usual; do you have anything that's not black, grey, or so...

  3. Just give your mother a quick explanation of what goth is, and keep it moving. You have nothing to prove.

  4. I agree, you either are, or aren't goth, you don't become one. Dawn here sounds pretty goth, I say she should just continue being herself.

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