Reader Mail: Telling your friends about Goth

Hi,
My name is Kari, 15 years old. I am extremely interested in the Gothic Subculture, I've already passed this along to my parents, which are perfectly fine with me becoming Goth (I'm sure they're just happy I'm being myself. ) But unfortunately, my close friends actually don't know this. My friends are very open minded but I'm afraid if I tell them, they'll get freaked. But if I don't tell them and I start incorporating the goth look into my style, they'd get even more freaked. I know to take it slow and not dive into it all at once, this is actually who I am and who I want to be but I want to let my friends know about how much of a change (to them) this is going to be. Any advice? Thanks so much!



Hi Kari! Thank you for writing in to me.


Congratulations on having the conversation with your parents about Goth! From what I've heard from readers they are usually the most difficult people to explain things too, but I'm glad your folks seem to be on board.

Friends can be tricky as well, though, but honestly what I would say is that dressing Goth and expressing yourself as a Goth more is probably not going to actually be that big a deal. You're still you and, hopefully, they like you more for your personality than your appearance. Yes, it might take some getting used to, but if you're making an effort to still connect with your friends that shouldn't be too hard!

It might also be worth explaining to them a little bit about what Goth is and is not. If they don't know what it is, perhaps broach the subject by asking them what they think about Goths. Take some time to talk about what you like about it, then suggest that the style is something you might want to explore. This doesn't need to be a sit down discussion with them all, just casually as it comes up.

And just remember, if people aren't willing to accept you as you really are, they're not worth being around anyway. This might be the beginning of some wonderful new friendships for you. Good luck!

Readers, what advice do you have for Kari?