Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Five Ways Goth Improved my Self Esteem

Goth improved my self esteem, there's no doubt about that. Perhaps it's because I grew into my own at a Goth during that special time (i.e. the preteen and teenage years) when everyone's self esteem plummets for half a decade and then you spend the rest of your life trying to build it back up again, but it definitely helped me grow into a sense of self love and acceptance that I'm very proud of myself for having. So, today, I thought I'd give a little explanation as to how I feel it helped me.

  1. Goth taught me that it is okay to do likes just because you like them despite what is currently popular. It's probably the most obvious of these five points, but expressing yourself through your tastes in music, clothing, literature, and other aesthetics is completely healthy and a good thing. It no longer made me feel like an out cast to like old, dark books and dressing in a Romantic, spooky way. It was okay to do things for yourself and love yourself despite being a little (or extremely) different, and for a twelve year old girl, that's a huge relief. 
  2. Interacting with Non-Goths while being a Goth helped me come to terms with the fact that, while some people are made of 100% absolute Suck, I cannot let them control my thoughts, actions, and emotions. If I do submit myself to the whims of everyday people on the street who take issue with my spookiness, I wouldn't be a happy person. With expressing my own interests comes the inevitable crash-course in self defense from narrow-minded and rude people. It's hard not to let their words cut, I know that, but as I've gotten more and more practice with it, I realize that I just do not care. And besides, little old grannies telling me I look like a pretty fairy doll is always good for my self esteem.
  3. Goth improved my self esteem because it encouraged me to create things. Every thing that I make for myself, whether it be my blogs or poetry or a playlist or a new piece of jewelry, makes me feel proud of myself.When I feel proud of myself, I love myself even more. Without Goth I don't know that I would have had the inspiration or the wide network of suppot for DIY and self expression that makes that kind of inspiration and creation possible. 
  4. Oddly enough, the fact that Goth has almost forced me to meet new people has also been a boon for my self esteem. I can still be rather reluctant to meet new people at first, but when you don't have anyone around you who hasthe same interests at you it's almost necessary that you meet new people. Online and in person, Goth has thrust me into more social situations and friendships than anything else in my life, except, perhaps, school (but that's what I get for having been in three different institutions in the last two years) and the more I enter into the situations, the more confident I've become in myself. Confidence tends to, if not always, bring along it's best mate Self-Love, because if I can go by myself to a strange city to meet other Goths from the internet and pal around at a museum, there's nothing I cannot do.
  5. Lastly, Goth helped expand my horizons. When I realized, through my connections and involvement in the subculture, what else existed in the world, I was struck with the realization that being a Goth has turned me into a more open-minded person. I'm by no means flawless, I've covered that already, but Goth helped me look for beauty in other places, possible interests in unexpected hidey-holes, and new people which make me feel enlightened. 
Has Goth had an impact on your self esteem? How so? 


  1. When I first started getting more into alternative fashions I was around 13 and it really felt like coming home to me. It was a way finally express what I liked on the outside. However, during that time I was feeling very insecure, so that made it quite difficult for me to handle all the rude comments people can make when you're not average. I also didn't know any other alternative people at the time and up until I did I felt VERY insecure.
    When I was 16 I got to know more alternative people and started feeling accepted. I finally had friends and that really made a huge difference to me. I started loving myself and I started to experiment more with ways of dressing.

    Overall I think dressing in an alternative way and having an interest in a darker aesthetic in general has broadened my horizons and it's definitely been a very good way for me to express myself.

  2. This is really well put. Great points! I think it has also allowed me to be more creative and meet new people.

  3. through goth i realised the following stuff, that had a good impact on my self esteem:
    1. i can wear literally anything, if it looks good on me. it can be any pattern or color, from a different era or the latest fashion, it can be gothic or even hip hop. one is perfect. so i should not be too strict on myself about my appearance. not to others as well.
    3. there are many body types. so i don't expect all the clothes to look good on me.
    4. there are no ugly people, there are people with choises that do not flatter them. so instead of sulking, i try to find how can i possibly bring out the best of me.
    5. i have reseasched how to be well mannered and feminine, a lady of older times. being gentle in this era it is truly difficult, but it makes a person special and desirable.
    6. i learned that it is ok not to like stuff that are popular, or my friends like. my preferences are a personal way to express myself, not a way to be accepted and fit in.
    7. the meaning of 'quality'. i do my best to be of quality, not shallow.