Well, no fear! My twelve year old self's compulsion to buy books about fashion (to appease her dreams of becoming a fashion designer, bless) will help me out! I pick up the well read paper-back tome from my bookshelf and blow the dust and cobwebs off. The cover proudly proclaims that it is "The Complete Guide to Finding the Style That's Right for Your Body" by Clinton Kelly and Stacy London, Hosts of TLC's What Not to Wear. Shoving aside the issues I have had with their methodology in the past (insinuating that one of the participants looked like a prostitute, among other things) I peeled the pages apart and began to read. Aha! I found it! On the twelfth page is a big blue spread of "Essentials for Every Woman." Now let's see what they have here.
Source: Classroom Chic
Readers, I wish I could scan the spread so you can see the horrors embedded within. Neutral trousers? Tweed skirts? Sparkly tops? Jeans? Brown bag? Brown heels? TWEED??? (Readers, I flipped to the Essentials for Every Man section and found even more horror's there! There was a suggestion, and I quote, for every man to have "six sport shirts, long or short sleeve, like polos.) The horror! THE HORROR!
Okay, enough of that drama. I wasn't exactly that shocked to see those here. And, sure, some of their examples do have a place in a Goth's wardrobe. Leather jacket? Sure thing. Black boots? Oh definitely. Black dress? Of course. But still, I had to shut the book. That wasn't what I was looking for. Apparently "Every Woman" doesn't include me. Not only do I think that trousers and jeans are beyond evil (those black jeans you saw in a previous post were casualties of the wardrobe culling), but where are the things that I consider essential? Like a well fitted bra? And a coffin shaped purse? Guess I'll have to do my own digging.
So, in the mean time, readers, what's in your "wardrobe essentials" list? What, if anything, makes Goth wardrobes different from Kelly and London's?